Patriots Preview Notebook
Week 18 vs New York Jets
I don’t know how to feel. Sure, everybody will tell me how I should feel about the Patriots week 18 game with the New York Jets but this goes deeper than wins, losses and draft picks. As Gorilla Monsoon used to say this is “the irresistible force meeting the immovable object.”
On one hand, you are okay with the Patriots losing: they would then land a pick in the top 3 of in a draft where the beer flows like wine and the quarterback prospects instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. One of those quarterbacks could be the one we rebuild the franchise around.
And on the other hand, (there’s a golden baaaaannnnnd) you always want to see the Patriots win: they’re playing the freaking Jets. That’s J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. Our sworn division rival. Our idiotic little brother that we’ve beat the tar out of the last quarter century. We Roadrunner, they Coyote. We haven’t lost to the Jets since the waning days of 2015. How long ago was that? The #1 song on Billboard was Hello by Adele. The #1 movie? Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens. There’s been 714 Star Wars since the Patriots last lost to the Jets! (Remember when Bill Parcells called himself Darth Vader when he phoned Robert Kraft to trade him Bill Belichick?)
Which reminds me of the third hand: that this might be Bill Belichick’s last game as head coach of the New England Patriots. I hate even typing those words, but there’s a chance. I tend to think positively (as you’ll quickly see, I’m an eternal optimist about the Patriots, as opposed to say the Boston Red Sox. But we’ll deal with them when we have to this summer.) I don’t think this will be Bill Belichick’s last game as HC of the NEP. But what if it was and what if they lost to the Jets? The team he spurned on the alter 24 years ago, would that be the biggest win in Jets history since Super Bowl 3? (Maybe not, but it’s RIDICULOUSLY high on their list. They might hang a banner. Kind of like North Carolina after they beat Coach K in his final game at Duke.)
Oh and I almost forgot the 4th and most emotional hand (this week’s preview isn’t going to be measured by word count but by hands, like a horse): this is very likely Matthew Slater’s last game. Ever. Potentially the final AWWWWWW YEAAHHHHH of a Hall of Fame career. I remember seeing him at the podium when the last two seasons ended in Buffalo thinking “this isn’t how Matthew Slater’s career ends, he can’t go out getting throttled by a rival.” One more win, at home, against the Jets. That’s how, if it can’t be with a Super Bowl win, that’s how the captain should go out.
(Interviewing Matthew Slater on stage at the Gracie Theatre in Bangor, Me in February of 2018. Just two weeks after the Patriots lost Super Bowl 52 to Philadelphia. He could not have been more gracious or kind.)
Oh and I’ll be at the game and I’m 0-4 this season and I don’t think I can carry going 0-5 with me for the next 9 months. And it’s supposed to snow Saturday night into Sunday, so this game could look beautiful and you never want to lose a beautiful game. (It just makes the cold feel colder and the wet feel wetter.) So in a game where there is seemingly “nothing to play for” there appears to be a whole lot left on the table. To help sort through these feelings, let’s preview this bad boy.
When the Jets have the ball: Zach Wilson was ruled out for the game, meaning Trevor Simien will start for the Jets. My official statement: “Okay.” Wilson is embarrassingly bad, especially against the Patriots who hold the old voodoo-whammy-bammy over Jets quarterbacks. (Quarterbacks not named Ryan Fitzpatrick, but he went to Harvard and is definitely a witch.)
The Jets cut Dalvin Cook this week, which as far as this game goes doesn’t seem to matter, but remember back in August when it did? Dalvin Cook was the running back prize on the free agent market, a market the Patriots were very much active in and when he signed with the Jets the backlash against Bill Belichick was swift and harsh. Signing Zeke Elliott shortly after felt like a boobie prize. Now, Elliott is filling in very adequately for Rhamondre Stevenson, scorer of touchdowns each of the last two weeks. While Dalvin Cook is available after taking just 67 carries for 214 yards and never got directions to the end zone. Guess we dodged a bullet there.
As far as the Jets offense goes, I guess just make sure Garrett Wilson is covered, tackle the shifty Xavier Gipson and we should be just fine. There’s going to be snow, 5-8” Saturday night into Sunday and another 3-5” during daylight on Sunday. I would have to imagine the Jets offensive game plan will probably revolve around 2nd year running back Breece Hall who has shown flashes of being a top back in the league. The Patriots stout run defense is going to have tie up their 7-studs tight and not let them break any big runs.
I don’t know what the Jets porous offensive line is going to do about Christian Barmore, but I can tell you he’s going to be a bigger problem for Robert Saleh than if Just For Men was discontinued.
When the Patriots have the ball: Don’t turn the ball over 4 times. Yep, that oughta do it!
How the Jets win: The Patriots don’t want to win. I don’t know what “calling off the dogs” or “resting your starters” would look like in this case if you’re the Patriots. In most cases, starting the backup quarterback is a dead giveaway that you’re gonna give it away (give it away-give it away) now. But with this Patriots team it can be hard to tell who is a king pin and who is a pauper. (Did you know that was the next line of that song? Not me.)
I don’t see the Patriots not trying to win this game, so for the Jets to win, I think Breece Hall goes off on the ground and the passing game. The snow negates the Patriots pass rush and Trevor Simien has time to not do something stupid. Zappe reverts to “Bailey vs the Chargers” and we’re left with another head scratching loss one score loss.
How the Patriots win: On a day where we could be watching #18 cover kicks for the last time, it appropriate that the frozen precipitation helps dictate the outcome. Patriots special teams have been anything but for two years. However on Sunday, one last time for a Patriots legend, Slater and the Gunners flip the field for New England and tip the scales towards a Patriots victory. Punt coverage in the snow and a ticked off Bryce Barringer, still irritated by his Pro Bowl snub, goes Subzero in Mortal Kombat and boots one off the Jets skull. (Finish him!) The defense makes sacking Trevor Simien their New Year’s resolution, as a returning Jabrill Peppers takes the ball away from New York (with a gift receipt) returns back to where it came from for a full refund. No store credit during the last week of the season.
Prediction: Picture this: Gillette Stadium, 3:44pm, Sunday, January 7th. The Patriots lead New York 16-0. The Foxborough turf is a bluster of white, the numbers and hashes just a hazy suggestion under toe. A gentle snow is falling, a frigid reminder of what fans in New England have to look forward to the next 3 months without a team in the playoffs. The Patriots line up at the Jets 18-yard line, when who does Bill Belichick send into the game, but the captain since 2011, 10-time Pro Bowler, 3-Time Super Bowl champion, Matthew Slater. The wide receiver, a 16-year veteran, who will one day, lord willing don a gold jacket in Canton, only has one catch in his career. (Good for 46-yards back in 2011.) Slater lines up in the slot and runs up the seam, gets leverage and darts towards the goal post. Bailey Zappe’s spiral, shaky most of the day, is smoother than a Starter jacket (not a sponsor). The football settles between Nike gloves (also not a sponsor) and the sewn 1-8 of Slater’s game jersey. Both feet find the endzone turf. Matthew Slater has the first receiving touchdown of his NFL career and the Patriots win 23-0.
In an instant, we don’t care about draft positioning. In 10-years we’ll probably forget who even won or lost this particular game. But just like Doug Flutie’s Drop Kick, it’s the moment that matters. And this moment is the grand sendoff that you dream about for players that you’ve watched forever. The one that we never got for Tom Brady and the one I don’t want to see yet for Bill Belichick. If this really is it for Matthew Slater, I can’t think of a better way to go than:
Patriots 23 Jets 0
